I stole this from my Dad's facebook page. Oh, Jon.

Mother's Day Musings for Men (mostly)

As a general rule, I don't like Mother's Day because I miss my Mom. Also, it tends to be very confusing. Apparently you have to get a Mother's Day gift for your wife. She's not my mother and as a matter of fact, if not for me, she would not be eligible to receive gifts on this day. Yet, I am still expected to buy her a gift.

I have struggled for years about what to buy my red hot smokin' wife on gift giving occaisions. For all the men out there, this year, I have given my wife the perfect gift. I simply thought, what do I know about my red hot smokin' wife? First, she's a tightwad. B, she really does not like me to have fun. So I just did something that really wasn't that much fun that didn't cost any money and BINGO! Success!

Warning to men: Please realize that this exact gift won't necessarily work for your dearly beloved. You need to find a gift that fits her profile. If she likes shiny things...my gift won't work.

Today I "detailed" her car. I didn't buy anything to do it. I didn't have any fun. Some of you guys may have already figured this thing out...but you never shared the info with me. Today I'm thinking, wow, I wish I had some little kids to help me...that would be a total bonus. What Mom could resist her husband taking the kids outside for an hour and getting them to 'help' wash the car. You wouldn't even have to do a good job. She'd be happy anyway.

Other important gift giving notes:

- You can't really mess up on a gift to your Mom. Mom's just love it when their kids remember it's Mother's Day, or her birthday or whatever. Just don't forget.

- If she (Mom or Wife) says you don't have to get me anything...it's a trap. Do not fall for it. At least get a nice card or something that looks like you had to think a little to select.

- Anything that can be found in the appliance section of a store is generally not a good idea. My red hot smokin' wife told me one year she wanted a vacuum cleaner. I got her one. BIG MISTAKE.

- You can use your children...especially the small ones to deflect blame for a bad gift. "Honey, I wanted to buy you some diamond earrings but little Susie thought you would really like to have a new putter". That's probably not the best example but you get the idea.

Men, we need to support and educate each other. Please take some time to add words of wisdom to the comments section of this note for the benefit of us all. Let's leave no man behind!

As for me, I will sleep well tonight because I done good today.